Time Warp

Work loads are starting to get into my nerves very recently. I know and I am even told that my existence at home is just merely a passing. The real meaning across is that i am becoming less responsible of the domestic duties I have, regardless of unconscious mental and physical burn out. When I lack sleep, the propensity of my mood surfaces easily when friction happens. One thing I have learned though, is to keep my personal dilemmas away from work even if it was tantamount to breaking out. A shape-shift. I thought of complaining and reason out, but the chances are just slim.

I used to say to my self that I am apolitical. In a very aggressive environment where I am, the likelihood of politics in all aspects is just everywhere. For instance, when you request for something, the one closer gets the higher possibility of getting a yes than coming from someone so tiny in their eyes. Meetings and conferences are just mere avenues to show off or unfortunately get bashed as if they were never committing any mistakes at all. But from a standpoint of a being apolitical, I tally my judgements on how many times I was rather turned down with flimsy excuses. Moreso, it’s aggravated by the word, "It’s not my job." …then who’s job was it if it’s not yours, or mine? This is the last thing I ever wanna hear from my boss ever again than being told you’re fired. So what’s your job? suck politics? Yeah, I did not say politics sucks because it does. I said suck politics like a brainfreezing slurpee from the inconvenient store, or lollilops that stains the tounge in disguise. just do it.might work.

There’s a lot of things in this lifetime that happens to us. Things that are unlikely but real, painful yet encouraging. I have made a number of ups-downs in which its disclosure might mean being impulsive. Along the way, as I travel through the upheavals, I still come back to one thing that will make me happy and content. I felt that the ticket to do what I want is a college degree to land a good a job and make money, but I failed..though it is an understatement.

A two hour and a half movie is the longest movie I think I have ever seen. Unfortunately I have not seen the whole of Saving Private Ryan or The Piano or Schindler’s List.I would find myself dozing off at the middle part and play it again when caught by chance, but same things happen. I guess it’s because I hate movies whose theme shows the WW. I felt they just have the same endings and beginnings. But just now I finished a flick that lasted more than the limit of movies I’d watch. "Into the wild". The early part was just  so light but on the latter part, that’s when it kicks me big time. It’s a true to life story of a man whose mere joy cant be found on material things nor doing the things we want. The drama was actually intensified by melodramatic narration of his sister.He burned all of his identities and money to start something that he’s  been looking for. It may appear selfish considering that he had people around him worried-sick of his whereabouts. his journey wasnt thwarted by money. Along the way, he met strangers who became his friends, and touched lives of people he barely knew. In the end he realized that happiness is nothing when you’re alone with it. The real feeling of being high is useless if you have no one to share it with. I sometimes find myself in the stage of denial that the real solution is just being contented. I guess in time I will.